Yesterday My favourite football(Soccer) team Chelsea crashed out of the champions league tournament. It was a tight controversial game and we lost due to away goals.

chelsea lose

But that’s not what I’m writing about today. Obviously I was heart broken, really down and overtly depressed(still sad even now). But during that moment and even now, I have the presence of mind to observe my thoughts and feelings and analyse where these negatives emotions are coming from.

Conditional Happiness

Isn’t it weird that something completely out of my control should affect me emotionally in such a significant way, and also strange how I have allowed that to happen for such a long time in my life.

Of Course I have great love for my team, but it doesn’t make sense that my prolonged emotional balance and mood should depend on whether we win or lose a football match. I am ecstatic when we win a game but even that serves me in a negative way because maintaining that mood would depend on my team winning in the next match.

It could be anything!

For me personally, it is to do with football, but for you guys, it could be anything in life:

  • money(or lack of)
  • Relationships – roller-coaster rides of ups and downs.
  • success/failure of a project event
  • friendship/lack off
  • feeling accepted/neglected
  • love / conditional love
  • winning / losing

Your centre

I am not sure where I read this from but everything has a centre, an ever changing focal point in their life that guides them forward on a dialy basis. And it is the Focal point that effects our moods and emotions.

For example, if money was your focal point, then having an abundance of it would make you happy beyond your dreams. But a lack of money would make you seriously depressed.

Don’t get me wrong, having no money would bring probably 100% of people down but a majority of us will cope better because we have other aspects of our lives which make us happy and we would find solutions to make money regardless.

Some people regard being in relationships as their main source of happiness. This is fine when you are in one and things are working out well, but when things start to fall apart, you could observe yourself feeling frustration, desperation, anger and helpless. And as relationship goes, that cycle is ever continuous and all of us in serious relationships know how much their dominates out thoughts and actions.

The secret

Ever wonder why bad things happen to certain people and it doesn’t seem to affect them as much or how they seem to just brush it off their shoulders and move on?

I believe its because their focal point or main source of happiness comes from perhaps from something unexpected or within their control.

  • Someone who has a passion for building model trains and generates so happiness from doing so.
  • A girl who who comes home from a hard days work and is immediately welcomed by her pet dog  whom loves her unconditionally.
  • Learning and travelling.
  • Showing and giving love and appreciation to others.
  • Appreciation for having life and being alive in the moment.

Maybe it’s time we sit down and think about what our happiness depends on.

It would certainly allow us to be more happy and less dependant on the outside world.

Thank you for reading.




Life is just one consecutive choice after another – every second, every minute, every day.

whatever you choose to do; whether it’s to sleep in bed all day, or to step out of our confront new challenges…

life goes on…

No person will blame you, no higher being will judge you,

Only you yourself can decide whether you have chosen what your heart has desired,

Only you can decide if you lived the life you have wanted.

If you honestly care, love and appreciate the life you have been given.

Then as a person who is blessed to choose – choose to take action to move forward,

Take action to remove negativity from our lives,

Take action to do the right thing in times of hardship,

Take action to love oneself and forgive one’s mistakes,

To love and appreciate the world when times are positive,

Because life goes on…

So let your life go on fighting, smiling, crying, rejoicing and loving.

Thank you for reading.



Sometimes when I’m in a cafe or library, i like to focus my attention away from my phone or the computer in front of me and look around – take in my surroundings.

I see a young couple holding hands, talking intently while staring into each others eyes(get a room!)

A young oriental girl surrounded by paperwork and books, could i assume she’s a student? perhaps studying aboard? why work so hard?

Another girl casually browsing Facebook on the Computer – being productive i see…

It’s just a small habit i do when i like to take a break from myself and see what’s happening in this world.

Sometimes we get so deeply involved in our dramas and activities of our own lives that we forget that there is a world outside of us. Everyone else just getting on and doing their own thing. This fascinates me to no end, i get curious about what people are doing and thinking, are they struggling just as hard as myself? what is their story?

It is quite clear that some people have it harder than us, and i don’t look down on those people because everyone goes through hard times. I can remember moments in my life when i was hitting rock bottom, and knowing that we will be facing inevitable ups and downs in our lives, that makes me appreciate my life even more.

Thank you for reading

In my previous blog, I mentioned that me travelling to foreign places constantly puts me outside my comfort zone – always having to adapt and stay sharp to my surroundings.

Coming back from Dubai, i find myself  in a different kind of discomfort; having no secure job, no secure source of income and taking on the challenges of starting a business and writing.

A while back, I was in a battle against mediocrity – against having a job which i attended day in and day out while having that fear of losing my job.

Since winning that battle, i have opened myself up to new opposition; opposition to fulfill my ambition, to find balance to my new lifestyle and most importantly, the battle against myself…

By nature, I’ve realized that I’m lazy, procrastinate constantly and have a lack of discipline…
It’s hard for me to say this as I would expect better from myself… But becoming jobless has exposed a weakness in me I’ve never fully being conscious of. It frustrates me to the core because everyday I think of what I like to achieve, yet i, myself, hold me back.

It would be so comfortable just to get a job again(wouldn’t be hard), but should I go back?

My family question my life decision, they want me to stay in a job and get a better income so would anyone blame me?

I just don’t like this feeling I’m having right now.
I wake up every morning and the world is my oyster. But maybe the world is too much – my shell was really comfortable to stay in. It was warm, i didn’t do much thinking and it was extremely easy. However would I be throwing away an opportunity to learn something valuable if I just gave up now?

These are the thoughts running through my mind at 3 am.
I usually sleep very well and the only time I sleep late is when I have a lot only mind, and i have A LOT on my mind tonight.

Doubts, hesitation, frustration, problems after problems…

And yet in my heart, despite the woes and the uphill battle, i remain optimistic, i just have to remind myself  constantly of why I’m doing this.

I doing it for love… I love my family, and i want to work harder for them so they won’t have to suffer in the future.

I do it for my freedom, so I can travel the world and follow my own dreams.

I do it because my heart tells me it is the right thing to do, even if logic goes against it.

Reality of any dream is always difficult and requires hard work – I will continue on with this feeling of discomfort regardless because with any negative feelings, it will ease away. And it would ease away because I’ve gotten stronger, wiser and I persevered through this experience … That is what I believe.

Thank you for reading.

“We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us”.

As a young child, I had two ambitions; one was to be a gardener, the other was to be an adventurer.

The gardener dream came about because my mother loved gardens and flowers, and i decided to become a gardener out of my love for her – because I thought she be happy.

To be adventurer though… I’ve always loved traveling, exploring new things and going on journeys and long hikes. Even as a child, whenever we would go someone new, I would always have the urge to escape my family and wonder off around the area, scoping, climbing, and just losing my way around for hours hoping to catch or see something amazing.

As I’ve gotten older though, i stopped travelling because society and expectations got in the way, I got a job and I got focused on money and paying bills. I developed a fear of losing my job so I worked harder and committed more time to the cause but that only served to make it harder for me to leave.
Only recently however, I took a risk with my life and decided to refocus my attention into my childhood and adult ambitions.

I’ve traveled to 5 different countries since the start of this year and during this journey, i have observed and learnt so many things; the way the people of this world live, their attitudes, expectations, their belief, religion and their understanding of how the world works.

Even now on the beaches of the dubai marina, I contemplate my experience here and imagine how this country was so different a decade or two ago. The poeple involved, their spirit and committed determination to make dubai a city of prosperity and pride for the Arab nation.

Every new experience has the potential to teach us something about life, for better and for riches, if only we would open our hearts to it, our lives would be filled with humble appreciation.

As an adventurer, I am able to appreciate everything I see and everyone I meet, because everything is a new experience for me.

Always outside my comfort zone, occasionally embarrassing myself and never forgetting that this is my childhood dream, my life long ambition – this is MY dream.

Thank you for reading.

So yesterday was my last day of work. I didn’t have to quit, I loved the job and everyone there was super cool and friendly. But my heart wanted to leave, my life isn’t destined to stay in a call centre. I hope everyone else there finds what they want in life and take the step forward to achieve it. I wish them all the best.

However moving forward, I have a short holiday dubai in two weeks so for now, I’m gonna get my balance back – gym, writing and meditation.
My old business partner is back so I have so many projects to take on to compensate for having no job/income.

I have a new girlfriend but it is a long distance one. I always make time for her and see her two or three times a month. I’m not sure where things are going but she tries to make the best of things when we’re together and I really have strong feelings for her, I appreciate her so much and do anything for her. Sometimes I wonder about the word love and it’s true meaning…maybe I meditate on it.

Thank you for reading.