Yesterday My favourite football(Soccer) team Chelsea crashed out of the champions league tournament. It was a tight controversial game and we lost due to away goals.
But that’s not what I’m writing about today. Obviously I was heart broken, really down and overtly depressed(still sad even now). But during that moment and even now, I have the presence of mind to observe my thoughts and feelings and analyse where these negatives emotions are coming from.
Isn’t it weird that something completely out of my control should affect me emotionally in such a significant way, and also strange how I have allowed that to happen for such a long time in my life.
Of Course I have great love for my team, but it doesn’t make sense that my prolonged emotional balance and mood should depend on whether we win or lose a football match. I am ecstatic when we win a game but even that serves me in a negative way because maintaining that mood would depend on my team winning in the next match.
It could be anything!
For me personally, it is to do with football, but for you guys, it could be anything in life:
- money(or lack of)
- Relationships – roller-coaster rides of ups and downs.
- success/failure of a project event
- friendship/lack off
- feeling accepted/neglected
- love / conditional love
- winning / losing
I am not sure where I read this from but everything has a centre, an ever changing focal point in their life that guides them forward on a dialy basis. And it is the Focal point that effects our moods and emotions.
For example, if money was your focal point, then having an abundance of it would make you happy beyond your dreams. But a lack of money would make you seriously depressed.
Don’t get me wrong, having no money would bring probably 100% of people down but a majority of us will cope better because we have other aspects of our lives which make us happy and we would find solutions to make money regardless.
Some people regard being in relationships as their main source of happiness. This is fine when you are in one and things are working out well, but when things start to fall apart, you could observe yourself feeling frustration, desperation, anger and helpless. And as relationship goes, that cycle is ever continuous and all of us in serious relationships know how much their dominates out thoughts and actions.
Ever wonder why bad things happen to certain people and it doesn’t seem to affect them as much or how they seem to just brush it off their shoulders and move on?
I believe its because their focal point or main source of happiness comes from perhaps from something unexpected or within their control.
- Someone who has a passion for building model trains and generates so happiness from doing so.
- A girl who who comes home from a hard days work and is immediately welcomed by her pet dog whom loves her unconditionally.
- Learning and travelling.
- Showing and giving love and appreciation to others.
- Appreciation for having life and being alive in the moment.
Maybe it’s time we sit down and think about what our happiness depends on.
It would certainly allow us to be more happy and less dependant on the outside world.
Thank you for reading.